In short
Black Book of Sex is an adults-only casual dating site run by Ambervine Inc. Joining, building a profile and browsing are free; reading and replying to messages need a paid membership, which renews until you cancel. Profiles are shared with partner sites in the same network, so their members can see and message you.
| Minimum age | 18 (21 in Alabama, Mississippi, Nebraska and Wyoming) |
|---|---|
| Free | Join, build a profile, browse |
| Paid | Reading and replying to messages |
| Cancel renewal | Settings > Billing |
| Delete account | Avatar > Settings > Delete Account |
The short version, in five steps
Black Book of Sex is free to look around and paid to talk. In order:
- Join with an email address, a password and your date of birth.
- Build a profile: who you are, who you're looking for, an age range, a distance and at least one photo.
- Browse members here and on partner sites in the same network, free.
- Pay to talk. A membership lets you read messages and reply.
- Leave when you like: cancel the renewal in Settings > Billing, then delete the account if you're done.
Join and set up a profile
Signing up takes an email address, a password and your date of birth. Use an email address you keep for dating if you'd rather account emails didn't land in your main inbox.
Your profile lets you set your gender and sexuality, who you're looking for, an age range and how far you're willing to travel, plus details such as languages, smoking and drinking. Expect to add at least one photo. Every photo is reviewed, and the image rules don't allow nudity or lingerie, so pick something that shows you without showing everything. Our guide to how casual dating sites work has an example of a profile that gets replies.
Browse free, pay to talk
Looking costs nothing; conversation is the paid part.
| Free account | Paid membership adds |
|---|---|
| Join and build a profile | Reading messages and replying |
| Add photos | Read receipts |
| Browse other members | Seeing who has viewed you, and likes |
| Sees ads | Viewing photos in full |
Memberships renew automatically until you cancel in Settings > Billing. The prices page explains the plans and extras, and the members area confirms the exact price, currency and billing name before you pay.
The partner-site network
Black Book of Sex runs on a shared platform: one member database sits behind several partner sites in the same network. So:
- members of those sites can see your profile and message you, and you can see and message theirs;
- every profile shows which site its owner joined through;
- anything you write in your profile can be read across the network.
That's why our guide to keeping casual dating private suggests keeping your surname, workplace and street out of your profile.
What's checked, and what isn't
Photos are reviewed. What members write about themselves, including age, location and what they're after, is not checked by anyone. ID verification isn't required by default; members can buy an optional badge showing they've passed a check by LEM Verify, which compares a photo ID with a selfie. A badge suggests someone looks like their ID. It tells you nothing about their intentions.
The site doesn't publish response times, and nobody is obliged to reply. Staying safe on Black Book of Sex covers the scams worth recognising.
Who can join, and who it suits
Adults aged 18 and over; in Alabama, Mississippi, Nebraska and Wyoming the minimum is 21. The members area accepts sign-ups from the countries listed in the questions below.
It suits adults who want something casual and are happy to say so. It suits less well anyone who wants every member's identity checked, or a site where only its own members can see them. If you're weighing it up, is Black Book of Sex legit? answers the obvious question.
Leaving
Cancel the renewal in Settings > Billing. Then, if you're leaving for good, open your avatar menu and go to Settings > Delete Account. Do it in that order: deleting a profile and stopping a payment are separate jobs. Questions about either go to the contact page.
Join Black Book of Sex free
Adults 18+. Free to join and browse. Reading and replying to messages is paid.
Questions people ask
Can members of other sites see my profile?
Yes. Black Book of Sex shares its member database with partner sites in the same network. Their members can see your profile and message you, you can do the same with theirs, and each profile shows which site its owner joined through. Write your profile with that wider audience in mind.
Do I have to prove my identity to join?
Not by default. Signing up takes an email address, a password and your date of birth. An ID check by LEM Verify, comparing a photo ID with a selfie, is available as an optional paid badge, and some sign-ups, for example through a VPN or from a flagged account, may be asked to complete it.
Which countries can join?
The members area accepts sign-ups from the UK, Ireland, Jersey, Guernsey, the Isle of Man, the US, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, South Africa and Portugal. Most readers of this website are in the UK, followed by the US and Australia, so our guides give reporting routes and helplines for those three.
Is there an app?
We haven't confirmed a Black Book of Sex app, so we don't describe one. The members area at members.blackbookofsex.com works in a phone or computer browser. If you use it on a shared device, don't let the browser save your password, and sign out when you've finished.
What happens if I stop paying?
Cancelling in Settings > Billing stops the next renewal. Reading and replying to messages need a paid membership, so once you no longer have one, you're back to what a free account can do: browsing and keeping your profile. Cancelling doesn't remove the profile. To do that, go to your avatar, then Settings > Delete Account.
Keep reading
- Casual dating sites in the UK: what you're actually paying forWhat's free, what you pay for, why partner-site members appear, profiles, a first week, meeting, privacy and scams.
- Is Black Book of Sex legit?Who runs it, what's free and paid, what's checked, partner-site sharing, billing, the terms, and a checklist before you pay.
- Keeping casual dating private: your phone, your inbox, your statementStatements, inboxes, lock screens, photos, partner-site sharing, locked notes, your data rights and leaving without loose ends.
- Meeting a casual date safelyChecks before meeting, a check-in plan, the first drink, spiking, consent, sexual health, and what to do if it goes wrong.
Sources
Checked 18 October 2026. Spotted something out of date? Tell us.